Destructive Incorporated

A good chocolate chip cookie is soft, chewy, and full of chocolate morsels in every bite. As a maker of the world's best cookies, I've had years of practice and instruction from countless sources - culminating in some little known secrets that will bring your cookie-baking skills to the next level.

Tip #1: Use the recipe on the back of the Nestle Tollhouse Morsels bag. It is the best tasting and simplest recipe out there, hands down.

Tip #2: When softening the butter DON'T use the microwave! It does something weird to the structure of it* and will cause your cookies to collapse. Nobody likes flat cookies. They should be nice and thick to sink your teeth into. Instead, you can let the butter sit in the warmed oven for a bit. But watch it. You want it soft, not runny or clear or melted. The texture of Crisco is ideal. Which brings me to...

Tip #3: For God's sake don't use Crisco or anything other than real butter. For your heart's sake. That crap is loaded with trans-fats. Plus your cookies will just taste terrible.

Tip #4: COOKING TIME, the most important tip. Your oven temp will vary. Baking isn't a very precise art, it just requires a bit of trial and error. Nestle says to bake 9-11 minutes. That's too long. By the time the cookies look done they will be over-done. Take them out at 7 or 8 minutes and let them cool to perfection. Sturdy enough to pick up, but still lusciously soft and chewy.

Tip #5: Always have a glass of fresh, cold milk to accompany.

Above all, cookie-baking is an art to share with loved ones. So experiment a lot and find your style (try nuts, raisins, oatmeal, cinnamon, fancy sugars, etc.) But cookies made with love are always the best cookies. Sometimes it's fun to sing in the kitchen, too.

*I haven't scientifically proven this.